Dawn Caldwell was a young girl the first time she crawled into the backseat of Marsi Lawson’s car.
It was 1976, and Caldwell, a quiet 8-year-old, had some idea of how she and the older woman could spend a fun afternoon. Caldwell’s brother Don Lozano was already part of Fort Wayne’s Big Brothers program and enjoyed a great pairing with his “big.”
The city’s Big Brother chapter was expanding its services that year to include “big” and “little” sister pairings, too. Because of her son’s involvement with the program, Diana Lozano was encouraged to get her daughter involved too.
Meanwhile, Lawson, then a 29-year-old teacher, was eager to give back to her community more.
Fast forward 50 years, and Caldwell and Lawson, now 58 and 79, respectively, are still close.
“I don’t think about the years,” Caldwell said from her home outside San Antonio, Texas. “Marsi helped me become who I am.”
Though unique, the longevity isn’t unprecedented. As Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Indiana prepares to mark its 55th anniversary in 2027, its leaders said the commitment to building community one relationship at a time is a hallmark of the organization.
The pairing that almost wasn’t
The request to let her daughter get involved in the Big Sisters program didn’t elicit an immediate yes, Lozano said.
The single mother of two had returned to Fort Wayne after serving as an Army corpsman in a stateside hospital during the Vietnam War. She’d married while enlisted in Pennsylvania, and the couple had Don and Dawn in quick succession.
But when the marriage dissolved, Lozano returned to Fort Wayne to live with her mom and utilize her GI Bill to become a nurse. She worked full-time, went to school, and often regretted that things were sometimes hard for her kids. She got her son involved in the Big Brothers program to make sure he had an older man in his life to help guide him.
The decision was harder when it came to her daughter.
“I just kind of held back because Dawn and I had a special relationship,” Lozano said, confessing she was worried they would lose that unique bond.
But she wanted both kids to be surrounded by as many good role models as possible and agreed for Caldwell to be paired with Lawson.
“I’m so happy I gave in because she and Marsi just have a terrific relationship,” Lozano said.
“Anytime Dawn was going through a bad experience with something, Marsi was able to put in a different perspective than what I could as mom. She could open up to Marsi sometimes more than she could me. That really helped her.”
“I’m glad she had a ‘big’ sister she could talk to.”
Reflections on family
Lawson, who still lives in Fort Wayne, remembers that first day with Caldwell.
“She was very shy. She hardly said three words when I took her out for our first outing,” Lawson said.
From doing simple crafts at the kitchen table to vacationing with Lawson’s family, Caldwell said the memories rush back easily.
“I remember a trip to Colorado; it was one of the first times I’d gotten too far from home,” Caldwell said. “It was just great seeing the outdoors that way.”
Lawson’s photos of Caldwell with her sons and husband Jerry are organized in gallon-size resealable, see-through plastic bags. She shuffles through them, nodding in recognition of memories past.
“That’s the Colorado trip there,” she said.
One photo shows Caldwell with Lawson’s husband and sons playing near a river. Another shows Caldwell alone on a rock, the sun bright on her smiling face.
All of them show family.
“We didn’t know it when we started, but it really was, and is, about helping each other through life’s trials,” Lawson said. “Dawn continued to make it possible for me to be in her life.”
Caldwell defers the credit.
“My mom was always the person who … demonstrated and stressed the importance of building and keeping relationships,” Caldwell said.
“And Marsi, she has just touched so many lives. She’s my daughter’s godmother. My kids know her; they know us. They know how important we are to each other.”
It takes a village
Josette Rider, CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Indiana, said there’s hard work, love, caring and a little magic that happens when a good pairing of a “big” and “little” occurs. That’s why the organization has had so many multi-decade partnerships.
“Our 55th anniversary is next year, and we have hundreds of stories of people who are still connected years later,” Rider said. “We provide a safe way for people to get deeply involved in community. It happens one relationship at a time, and it can last a lifetime.”
In Rider’s case, she has been a “big” to two “littles” over the almost 30 years she’s spent with the organization. The younger women are now both adults with their own families and careers, but Rider said the connection remains strong.
“We tell people it’s about being present, no judgment. Just love people where they are and help them get where they’re going,” Rider said.
It’s common for the “bigs” to feel like they’re getting more out of the pairing than the “littles.”
“It happens so often, the most effective ‘bigs’ are the ones who don’t think they’ll be very good at it,” Rider said.
That initial hesitancy often makes way for those lifelong connections.
“For these kids, they want to just go out and experience the world. When they’re out in the community, there’s no labels on them.”
They’re just kids.
Rider said the simple joy and comfort of an afternoon at a playground, or taking in a movie, does so much to help a child feel supported.
“It takes all of us,” she said. “Parents, partners, the community.”
“The village raises the child.”
Seasons of life
During their 50 years together, Lawson and Caldwell have experienced all sorts of life events. Weddings, funerals, welcoming children and grandchildren, caring for aging parents. Through it all, they’ve known the other is just a phone call away.
Neither takes the relationship for granted.
“In some ways, I’ll always see her as an 8-year-old in my backseat,” Lawson said. “I’m so fortunate. I’ve seen her grow from a little girl into a teenager and now this remarkable woman.”
“I couldn’t have imagined that fortune.”
Caldwell’s love for Lawson is equally palpable.
“Marsi played a big part in who I am. She helped guide me into the person I am today,” Caldwell said. “She taught caring, work ethic, getting involved in community. I always want to be there for her like she’s been for me.”
“She is in my heart.”
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Lisa Renze is director of strategic partnerships for Free Press Indiana and an FPI News contributor. You can reach her at lisa.renze@freepressindiana.org.
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